Prosser
It was New Year’s Eve 2008. While most people partied the night away, Datkins Clark, now a senior at Michele Clark, prepared to make one of the biggest decisions of his life.
He was at a party at his parents’ house when he mustered the courage to propose to his 16-year-old girlfriend of five months, Rachel Walker, by getting down on one knee.
“I was surprised,” says Walker, now a 17-year-old junior at Michele Clark. “He did it in front of his family, so I didn’t know how to react.” The couple had discussed marriage, but Walker says the proposal caught her off guard. Still, she said yes that night.
The wedding is set for Dec. 24.
Although Clark and Walker are planning to walk down the aisle, the number of teens who marry is small. Census data from 1998 showed 1 percent of 15- to 17-year-olds had been married, while 6.5 percent of white women aged 18 and 19 (and 13.4 percent of Hispanic women the same age) had said “I do.”
And at a time when adult divorces are high, the same is true for teens. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, married teeens under 18 have a 48 percent chance of divorce, compared with a 24 percent divorce rate for those over age 25.
Karen Sternheimer, professor of sociology at the University of Southern California, says teen marriage often comes with challenges.
“A 17- or 18-year-old may not be ready to handle the financial need that comes along with a marriage,” she says. “Marriage may interfere with personal exploration.”
In addition, Robin Craig, a counselor at Glenbard North, thinks teens may be too young to understand what they want from life.
“Young people change so much from teenage years to even early adulthood,” she says.
Young newlyweds often have to deal with earning money, bills and sometimes, parenthood. Still, some couples are determined to make marriage work.
Jasmine Mendez, a senior at Prosser, got engaged on May 29 to her boyfriend of one year, a freshman at East-West University. They hope to get married May 11 at city hall before Mendez plans to start college in the fall.
“I can see myself with him in the future,” she says. “I just felt that life is short, so I should go for it.”
Mendez is aware of the odds, but says it’s no match for the love that she and her fiancé share.
“We can make it through and live a happy life together,” she says. Gabriela Terrazas, Mendez’s best friend and a senior at Prosser, said she supports Mendez’s marriage, but the news was a surprise because of her friend’s age.
“If marrying her boyfriend makes her happy, then I’m there for her,” Terrazas says.
In Illinois, it’s legal to marry at 16. However, when a 16- or 17-year-old applies for a marriage license at the county clerk’s office, both parents must appear and sign a consent form.
Since Walker and Clark—from Michele Clark—will both be 18 by their wedding day, they won’t need parental permission.
“My mom initially thought I was too young, and is still is a bit reluctant about the marriage,” Walker says. “But she has agreed to support me.” On the other hand, her fiancé’s parents never had an issue with the engagement.
“I fully support my son in his decision to get married,” says Patricia Clark, Datkins’ mother. “We are paying for most of the expenses for his wedding and have even offered them space in our home.” Patricia Clark says she believes that her son and his fiancé are mature enough to marry.
“They both still plan to go to college and pursue careers,” she says. “Marriage will only make them stronger.”
Marrying young used to be the norm. In the late 1950’s, 19 was the median age for women to marry, National Marriage Project co-director David Popenoe told TheMash.
Over time, people waited until they were older to marry. In 1970, the median age was 23 for men and 21 for women. But in 2006, it was 27.5 for men and 25.5 for women, according to the Brookings Institution.
“Today, a lot of people are ... waiting until a career has been established,” Popenoe says.
Sternheimer, at USC, said there may now be a stigma for those who marry young, but that was not always the case.
“One hundred and fifty years ago, there was no separation between childhood and adulthood,” she says. “The term ‘teenagers’ did not exist.”
Today, she says, teens do not have to handle as much and many feel the lack of responsibility means they’re too immature to marry. In fact, some couples plan to marry but later decide they aren’t prepared. That was the case for Ianthe Belisle, a Homewood-Flossmoor senior who dated her boyfriend for one year before getting engaged.
“For the first couple of months of our engagement, we thought it was a dream come true,” she says.
However, Belisle called off the engagement after six months. “I found out he got drunk at a party ... so I figured that he was not as mature as I thought he was,” she says.
Another young bride, 17-year-old Truman College freshman Christina Rivera, says her rude awakening came after the wedding.
After marrying at 16, Rivera got pregnant and realized her husband was not the prince charming she imagined. After six months, she filed for divorce, which was final Dec. 9.
Now a single mother with a 1-year-old, she says she’s happy without her husband.
“As I look back on the marriage, I realize that we rushed into it,” she says. “We were too young and we did not think the marriage through.” Rivera doesn’t plan to marry again soon.
“Marriage at a young age is based on lust, not love,” she says. “I have my whole life ahead of me for marriage.”
Meanwhile, Walker is preparing for married life. She sings in her church choir and says not much has changed since the engagement.
“Life is pretty much the same, except for the negative comments from people about my marriage,” she says.
Walker says some relatives and friends advised her to think twice about the marriage. But she’s not letting those opinions faze her.
“You have to have faith in whatever you do,” she says. “People may not agree, but it is up to you to make it work.”
